Fooling Victoire
by 00Verisimilitude00
Summary: All the times that Teddy Lupin tried to fool Victoire Weasley. A Teddy/Victoire love story... just without Teddy most of the time.
1. Fred Wealsey

**A/N: I am totally fascinated by Teddy's metamorphmagus abilities and so I decided to write a story about it. I've read a good deal of Teddy/Victoire fics, but so far all of them have only hinted at his unique trait (mostly they just consist of Teddy turning his hair funny colors at random moments). I've always wanted to read a fic that focused on it, so I finally just wrote my own!**

**Teddy is 9 and Victoire is 7 for those people who would like to know **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter related (Or Teddy Lupin related, as the case may be)**

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Oops, Teddy thought concernedly. He looked down and hastily picked up one of the collapsed tent poles that now lay scattered around him, trying to figure out what went wrong. This is bad, thought Teddy. He bit his lip as he remembered Ginny's specific instructions to not go out in the backyard until all the adults had said it was okay.

He rubbed his irritated eyes the tips of his fingers. Looking up, he scanned the lush green trees and blooming flowers. Allergies, he sighed. Getting up, Teddy dropped one of the heavy poles and brushed off the new grass stains on the knees of his pants.

It wasn't his fault really, reasoned Teddy. Most of the people had already arrived for the festivities; and the great majority of the various cousins were being boring inside and sleeping. It was such a nice day, and all the uncles were inside having an afternoon snack, so why shouldn't Teddy go outside to simply enjoy the good weather and his new miniature broom?

And he was so careful, Teddy thought with a pang. And now he would be punished.

Ginny and Harry had been planning this elaborate family reunion for weeks now, and Teddy had gone and messed it all up. Even though the Potters had guests over nearly every week, this is the first time in Teddy's memory that absolutely _everyone_ was going to come over. All the Weasley brothers were Apparating or flooing to their sister's; it was going to be total chaos, Ginny told a grinning Harry, but she was going to see it through if it was the last thing she did. And now Teddy had ruined it all.

Oh no, oh no, Teddy repeated inside his head as he surveyed the damage in his wake. What should I do now? The carefully set up tent now lay in shambles around him.

It was as he was contemplating fleeing the scene or owning up to his actions that Teddy first heard the footsteps.

Panicking, Teddy knew that he couldn't escape the person approaching the garden short of sprinting past them and having the element of surprise on his side. Then his best hope would be that they wouldn't be able to make out his face as he whipped past them in a blur of speed.

That was absolutely ridiculous, Teddy thought to himself as soon as it crossed his mind.

The person was getting closer, and Teddy was nowhere near close to having a good plan of escape.

Years later looking back on it, Teddy was properly ashamed of his antics. Still, he was nine, young, and entirely too fearful of Ginny Potter's wrath to think straight. At least that's the story he maintains, and if Harry ever objects, Teddy will remind him of the time that he caught his godfather trying to sleep on the couch, under the invisibility cloak, to get one peaceful night's sleep when his wife was angry.

"Hello?" a young female voice called from behind the fence.

Finally Teddy was able to look up and see the intruder; with difficulty Victoire Weasley pushed the heavy garden gate open. It was bigger than she was, after all.

"Oh my," she said, grimacing as she caught sight of the destruction behind the boy in the yard.

He simply looked at her.

"Fred, did you do this?" Victoire asked sternly, talking to the four-year-old looking guiltily around.

Teddy nodded, unable to look at Victoire's disapproving face. He dropped the pole and began to walk towards her.

Suddenly he tripped over a rock and landed face first into a bed of particularly fragrant flowers. Rotten allergies, Teddy thought, as he gave a particularly violent sneeze. It brought tears to his eyes and he wiped them away hastily, lest Victoire, _a girl,_ saw the water and thought he was crying.

As he pressed his palms into the ground to get up he suddenly found a pair of small hands helping him stand, holding him securely around the middle. He looked around, surprised, and saw Victoire's face too close to his own.

"Oh Freddie," she said softly, wiping the corner of his left eye with her thumb. Teddy had noticed that her tone had changed drastically from when she was questioning him earlier. "Don't worry; Aunt Ginny won't be too angry." She stood back as soon as Teddy could stand by himself.

"Don't worry," she repeated reassuringly. "It'll be ok," Victoire said as sympathetically looked down onto his watering eyes.

Teddy couldn't think of anything to say in response.

Victoire turned to leave the backyard. "Vienne, mon chéri, let's get back to the house," she called to him as she reached the gate. "We can explain it to Aunt Ginny together. Aren't you coming Fred?" Victoire turned to look at him once she realised he was not right behind her.

"You go first," Teddy said.

Looking a little bemused, Victoire shrugged and said, "Sure. Come in right after me, though."

Teddy watched Victoire hurry off back to the house. Turning around to ponder the mess of poles around him, he quickly changed back into himself. Turquoise hair replaced black, green eyes replaced brown and he felt his face resume its original shape. Grabbing his toy broom, which Victoire had thankfully not noticed, he ran out of the garden, around the house and into the front yard.

There he spent a few delightful minutes playing around without any sudden bouts of clumsiness that had plagued him while flying in the backyard. However, sooner than he would have liked, the guilt that gnawed in his stomach for leaving Victoire to deal with Ginny reached an alarming level.

Sighing, Teddy dismounted and walked inside, fully prepared to give a complete confession to Ginny and spend hours cowering behind Harry while she yelled. To his surprise, he entered a house filled with noise entirely different than an angry godmother. He walked into the living room to find everyone laughing uproariously. Confused, he hovered in the doorway for a minute to listen.

"A troublemaker, already, huh little guy?" cooed Audrey, bouncing the real Fred on her knee. He was giggling madly with all the attention he was receiving and had a huge smile plastered onto his little face.

"Bound to happen, what with the genes he's got," Ron scoffed, arm swung casually around his wife who was grinning along with the rest.

"Just what are you insinuating about my wife's genes, oh dear brother of mine?" George yelled in a falsely offended voice over the splutters of laughter.

Teddy crept over to where Victoire was sitting, smiling slightly at everything going on around her.

"What's going on, Vic?" Teddy asked her.

"Nothing, I mean I caught Fred outside messing with the tent and then I told Aunt Ginny." Victoire paused, a little confused. "She wasn't mad though, said she'd fix it back up in no time with magic."

"She wasn't mad?" Teddy repeated dubiously. He snuck a glance at Ginny who was sitting next to Harry and chuckling over something he just whispered in her ear. She didn't look mad at all.

"Yeah, but then she went out to check if Fred was alright, but she couldn't find him outside. It turns out he was sleeping inside." Victoire looked more bewildered than ever. "Aunt Ginny woke him up, and he denied everything." She shrugged. "Uncle George then came in, and said his son would clearly be a great prankster. By this time the whole family was involved and they've been talking about it ever since."

"Oh," Teddy said. "She really wasn't mad?"

"Nope," Victoire confirmed, flicking her long blond hair over her shoulder.

"You sure?"

"Yes," Victoire said a little exasperatedly. "Why are you so interested anyway, Teddy?"

"No reason," he said too quickly, wiping at his runny nose with one hand.

Victoire suddenly grabbed his arm away from his face and stared into his eyes for a moment. "Your eyes are still red," she commented in a hard voice.

"Wha-what?" Teddy stuttered under her intent scrutiny.

"At least you're not crying anymore."

"I was_ not_ crying!" Teddy denied sharply.

Victoire looked triumphant. "Ha!" she exclaimed. "It was you! You can't ever fool me, Teddy Lupin."

He could only gape at her, completely speechless. She had tricked him!

"What are you going to do about it?" Teddy asked her sullenly.

"Nothing," was the flippant reply.

Again, Victoire had rendered Teddy silent in shock. "Why?" he asked once he had fully processed her reply.

"Because."

"Because _why_?" Teddy asked, annoyed at her stupid answers.

"Because I'm not a tattle-tail, that's why," Victoire said, turning away from him.

As he watched her go, Teddy thought about Victoire. She was mighty quick, and now she even had blackmail material against him. No, Teddy decided, Victoire definitely deserved his respect, he thought as he meticulously revaluated his opinion of this blond haired Weasley.

He would never try to fool her again.

Much later he reflected that it was the only promise he ever broke to Victoire.

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**A/N: Reviews make my day. Seriously, after I get one I'm all *squee!* and jump around my room. But all the strange looks I get are totally worth it if I get a review!**


	2. Matthew Wood

**Disclaimer: Go back to the 1st chapter if you have some bizarre desire to read an actual disclaimer.**

**Enjoy the next chapter !**

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"It's over!" Adrian said, grabbing the bag of crisps and taking out a handful. "No mo' fudyin' fo'" he gave an enormous swallow, "OWLs!" he cried, punching the air with his fist.

Teddy gave a relaxed sigh and nodded happily.

"So, Teddy," Matthew began, looking intently at his friend from across the campfire, "What do you propose we do next?"

Teddy shrugged and leaned even farther back so that he was resting on his elbows, feet toward the flames. He could just barely make out Matthew's form directly through the fire. Instead, he looked up at the stars twinkling overhead.

"How's your summer going, Matthew?" Adrian asked on Teddy's right.

"It's been good," he replied casually. "So far I've managed to avoid Grace for most of it. She has one of her friends over, so they've been busy shut up in her room, probably gossiping away." Matthew shook his head at the foolishness of the female gender. "You know, her best mate, Victoire Weasley."

Teddy sat straight up. "Vic's here?" she hadn't mentioned anything to him. Nothing at all.

"Who?" Adrian asked.

"You know," Matthew explained, "That veela girl in fourth year, the pretty blonde one."

"Oh," Adrian said, eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I think I know her," he said slowly.

"Really?" Teddy said with a tone coloured with disbelief.

"Nope. Not a clue," Adrian said shamelessly.

Matthew sighed. "You're really hopeless with faces, mate. She has long blonde hair to her waist, has blue eyes," he illustrated, searching Adrian for some sign of recognition.

His face remained blank.

"In Ravenclaw? About a head taller than Grace? Bookish type? Top marks in everything except Potions? Ravenclaw chaser?" Matthew probed.

Nothing.

Teddy rolled his eyes. Matthew obviously fancied Victoire, he seemed like he could continue with his list of Victoire characteristics till dawn if he needed to. On anyone else it might seem like Matthew was some sort of stalker, but with him it wasn't creepy, just the way Matthew worked.

"Oh I know her!" Adrian said, clapping a hand to his forehead.

Teddy gave him a startled glance. "Since when have you ever followed Quidditch?"

"No," Adrian said impatiently, "not that-"

"Good," Matthew interrupted, leaning back in his seat. "I thought the world was going to end, got me scared for a minute there."

Adrian scowled. "Ha ha," he said sarcastically, "No, I remember now, once I was trying to get a book out of the library, but it was already borrowed. The stupid librarian made me go to the person who had it, Victoire Weasley, and get it from her personally. The only thing I knew about her was that she was a third year. I heard the name Weasley and I started combing the castle for redheads. Turned out she was blonde!" he threw his hands in the air in frustration, "It was a nightmare," Adrian muttered, shaking his head sadly.

Teddy laughed. No wonder Adrian didn't remember, he was probably so traumatized that he blocked the whole ordeal from his memory.

He had heard that the entire Weasley clan was a bit intimidating to outsiders. Personally he didn't see the sense in it; who could be afraid of Louis, a scrawny first year who was the shortest of the lot? Or Fred, who despite the many jokes, was deathly afraid of clowns? Or Quidditch obsessed Dominique who couldn't pay attention to anything not related to brooms or the Montrose Magpies? Or Molly who was even more of a rule abiding stickler than her father? Or even Victoire, the only blonde... and everyone knows what they say about blondes.

"Still, we're not that bad!" Teddy said defensively, feeling obliged to support his adopted family.

"Yeah, Victoire's not that bad either," Matthew muttered.

My, that boy's got it bad for her, Teddy thought, smiling slightly.

"Well, looking over Matthew's slightly creepy Victoire obsession-"

"I am not obsessed!" Matthew interjected loudly.

"You just fancy the hell out of her," Teddy said sympathetically.

"N-yes," Matthew admitted. "Do you know if she feels the same?" he asked him desperately.

"I don't really know," Teddy admitted. "She hasn't mentioned it, but Vic's kind of secretive about her feelings. You might have a chance, mate."

"Good to know," Matthew sighed. "Does Vict-" he started, but was cut off by Adrian.

"Hey, Teddy, I've never really seen you use your metamorphmagus abilities!" Clearly he was tired of all the Victoire conversation.

"He changes his hair every day, you git!" Matthew said exasperatedly, a little annoyed about being interrupted.

"Yeah, but he's never totally changed his appearance and, I dunno, became another person," explained Adrian.

"Do you want me to?" Teddy asked, amused.

"Hell yeah!" Adrian said, shifting his seat so that he could look Teddy square in the face.

Matthew got up so that he could see too. "Sure, why not?" Clearly his curiosity outweighed his minor irritation at Adrian.

"Who?"

"Matthew!" Adrian said before the boy in question could open his mouth.

Teddy smiled and his friends watched with rapt attention as Teddy's features distorted and reformed right before their eyes. Matthew and Adrian stared with open mouths as Teddy's hair turned darker and longer, as his nose became more pointed, as his green eyes became a dark blue, and as his face took on Matthew's square shape.

"How is it?"

"Looks just like him!" Adrian said, his gaze flitting back and forth between Matthew and his double.

Matthew could only gape. In fact, he only snapped out of his state of shock when the sound of footsteps approached their campfire. "Hello?" a female voice called.

"Vicky!" Matthew called, recognizing the voice and spotting the shimmery blonde hair among the trees as she drew closer.

As she drew closer Teddy saw her eyes widen in confusion as she beheld Adrian and the two Mattews. Suddenly, she broke out into a wide smile.

Teddy narrowed her eyes at her expression. She looked like she was up to something.

"Hey guys, I just wanted to talk to Matthew for a bit, think you could spare him for a minute?" she asked, looking from one Matthew to the next.

"Yeah?" Adrian asked, grinning. "You know what's going on, right?"

"Sure," Victoire said, casually leaning against a tree. "One's Teddy, one's Matthew."

"Can you tell them apart?"

"Of course," Victoire said, clearly affronted. "So I'll just grab Mattew for a sec, yeah?" She reached forward and seized Teddy's hand.

"Wait Vicky-" the real Matthew called, but she had already disappeared through the trees, Teddy following bemusedly in her wake.

"So," Victoire stated once they were out of earshot of the campfire.

"Why did you drag me here?" Teddy asked curiously.

"Like I said, I needed to talk to you alone."

"Well Vic, I n-" Teddy started, but she cut him off impatiently.

She placed a finger over his moving lips, and he fell silent. "Please just listen to what I have to say, alright?"

Teddy nodded. Somehow he could never resist denying the blonde Wealsey anything.

"Look, I reallyl fancy you," she blurted suddenly, staring into his eyes. "I've been feeling this for a while, and I felt that you needed to know." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I know I'm only fourteen and you're sixteen, and I may seem like Teddy's little cousin at times, but do you think you could ever feel the same?" She fiddled with a strand of hair nervously. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind," she gave him a small smile.

"Vic, look," Teddy said once he had absorbed her confession, "I'm not-"

"Do you think Teddy would mind?" Victoire cut him off.

"No, but-"

"Good."

"Vic, see here I-"

"Do you think he still thinks of me as his little cousin?"

"Well, yes-"

"But I'm fourteen!"

"So?"

Victoire floundered for a response for a second, "Uncle Harry witnessed Voldemort's rebirth at my age!"

"Vic, as you know, _Harry Potter's_ adolescence is nowhere near normal. His is nothing to go by. At all."

"Yeah, but still, Teddy got his first girlfriend when he was fourteen!"

"What's that got to do with it?"

"He's a hypocrite!"

Teddy bit his lip. "Well, you asked if he still sees you as his little cousin. He does, but that doesn't by any means keep you from dating Matthew."

"Really?" Victoire looked oddly relieved.

"Really."

"Great!" Her smile grew more pronounced. "Well, now that we've settled that, how was it?" she demanded unexpectedly.

Teddy stopped speaking. "Pardon?" he asked, very confused by her new question.

"How was that? I didn't speak too fast, my stuttering was minimal, I think it went alright, yeah?"

"What went alright, Vic?" Teddy asked, still totally in the dark.

"My whole little speech, Teddy, keep up! I know you're not in Ravenclaw, but I'm beginning to think you're just plain slow." Teddy could tell Victoire was enjoying this far more than she should.

"You knew it was me?" Teddy was still grasping that fact. "How?"

"Of course!" Victoire sighed impatiently. "You can't ever fool me, Teddy Lupin."

"How?" he repeated, staring into her laughing eyes.

"A wise witch never reveals her secrets," Victoire said mysteriously.

Once it was clear that that was the only thing he would ever get out of her, Teddy asked, "And why, oh wise one, did you drag me into the forest to give a love confession?" He raised his eyebrows.

"For practice."

"For practice," Teddy repeated dully.

"Yeah," Victoire said as she began to lead him back toward the others. "My mirror was awfully unhelpful."

"Oh," was all Teddy could say. "And so you decided to practice, on me?"

"Why not?" Victoire laughed and turned her head to glance at his thoughtful expression. "You look just like him."

"That I do."

She reached up and ruffled his hair affectionately, grinning as it turned blue wherever she touched it. "Let's get back, and then I can do it for real." Teddy saw a glint of nervous anticipation in her eye before she turned around and continued to lead him out of the forest.

"If it helps," Teddy told the back of Victoire's head, "He'll say yes."

"What?" She whipped around to face him.

"Matthew," Teddy elaborated, "fancies you. A lot, actually."

"He does?" Victoire said, positively ecstatic. "Really?"

"You honestly haven't noticed him stalking you the whole week before the holidays?" Teddy threw her an incredulous look.

"No."

"Figures. I think you had your head stuck in a book the entire time."

"Hey!" Victoire exclaimed crossly. "I resent that."

"Why? You know it's true."

By now they had reached the campsite. Matthew was stoking the fire with a morose expression on his face, and Adrian was laughing at something he had just said.

"Hi guys," Teddy said as he approached. They both looked up at him and noticed that he had resumed his actual face again.

"Matthew," Victoire said, walking up to where he was sitting, "Sorry, I took the wrong one before. Will you excuse us for a moment?" she asked, turning to look at Teddy and Adrian.

"Sure," Adrian said, still chuckling.

"Fine by me," Teddy said, taking a seat next to Adrian. He gave her a knowing look as they departed, and from behind Matthew's back, Victoire stuck her tongue out at him.

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**A/N: Well... how was it? please let me know!**


	3. Harry Potter

**A/N: Er, nothing really to say here.**

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

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Teddy took a sip of his firewhisky, wincing slightly as it burned its way down his throat. He examined the glass he held in front of him, swishing the amber liquid around its container while he contemplated his rather unfortunate romantic situation. Eighteen years old, freshly graduated a year ago, godson of Harry Potter, son of two war heroes and where does he find himself? Alone at a bar on a Saturday night. He didn't even want to think of all the wonderful things that could be happening to him if it wasn't for the rather untimely revelation he had a few days ago.

"Thanks again for inviting me over," Ethan had said to Teddy while they were sorting through paperwork at Gringotts.

"No problem," Teddy shrugged. "Bill didn't seem to mind at all. Plus Fleur loves having more people over anyway."

"Yeah," Ethan said, reminiscing of the night before and the beautiful woman who had served him a rather rare steak. "I don't care if she's older; she's one fine looking woman."

Teddy threw him an exasperated look. "She's married," Teddy reminded him, "to an acclaimed curse breaker who, I might remind you, is your _boss._"

"Details, details," Ethan said, waving them away.

Teddy sighed. He knew Ethan was just joking. He always was joking.

"But," Ethan continued, "Her daughter, the older one who's still in school-"

"She's a minor!"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "She's what, sixteen? Almost of age," he pressed on, "She's bloody gorgeous."

Teddy didn't deny it. It was true, his Vic could certainly turn an astounding number of heads in the streets whenever she walked by. Her sparkling blue eyes, silky blond hair and tall stature all combined together to make her very pleasing to male eyes.

"It's not just that she's beautiful," Teddy said, feeling obliged to explain what a wonderful person Victoire was beyond her looks, "She's smart, has a wicked sense of humour, cannot hold a drink to save her life and always roots for the underdog. She's always sincere and incredibly stubborn. Her vocabulary is larger than mine, always has been. " Teddy paused for breath.

"Woah," Ethan said, looking taken aback. "Are you marrying the girl or something?"

"What? Vic? No," Teddy laughed, but the sound seemed oddly grating on his ears. "We're just really good friends, that's all."

"Are you sure?" Ethan pressed; "Because I was going to ask her out; she being on her spring break and everything, but if she's taken, then I won't..." he drifted off.

"No, by all means," Teddy said bracingly. "Just, just, treat her right, okay? Because I'll have to kick your arse if she gets hurt."

Ethan laughed out loud at gentle Ted's amusing attempts to be intimidating.

"I mean it," Teddy insisted, "If she comes to me crying, you'll have to watch out for anyone and everyone."

"Huh?"

"Everyone," Teddy repeated slowly, morphing his face into Bill's, then Harry's, then Ethan's, then Ethan's father who Teddy had met last week.

"Woah," Ethan repeated, eyes wide in what Teddy presumed was fear. "Okay, then Teddy," he said quickly, "No hurting Vicky, got it."

Teddy grinned at his friend's horror struck expression. "No worries, mate," he clapped a stunned Ethan across the back. "If you don't mess it up too badly with Vic, then I have no reason to hunt you down."

Ethan could only nod.

At the bar, Teddy sighed and took another gulp of his stiff drink. That afternoon Teddy had gone home to his flat did some thinking, Ethan's words circling round his head.

He couldn't fancy Vic.

He had known her forever, she was like family.

But.

There was there were small things. Miniscule things, really. Practically microscopic.

Later, Teddy swore that he must have been very dense to not notice the signs.

Like when he picked her up from the Hogwarts Express when she came home for the Christmas holidays. She hugged him and laughed in his ear when he ruffled her hair. The tingles that he felt where her breath met his neck cannot have possibly been platonic, normal friendly tingles. Who even gets bloody tingles around friends anyway?

Or that when he saw her sleeping on the couch when the whole family had gathered at the Potters' to celebrate Christmas, he had a fleeting desire to sweep her up into his arms and plant kisses all over her until she woke up. However, he had blamed the urge on his teenage hormones because that was the only logical solution...

Still, and then there was not quite small, not quite miniscule, not quite microscopic fact that he could not get Victoire out of his mind. Everything seemed to remind him of her; his every thought seemed to relate, somehow, to Victoire.

It would have been bad enough without the slightly illegal dreams Teddy has been having for the past few months featuring Victoire in not quite age appropriate situations. He hasn't been able to look Bill in the face for weeks.

Over the past few days, ever since Ethan had asked her out, Teddy had been mulling these examples in his head, plus a million others that have since occurred to him.

Bloody hell, Teddy thought hopelessly. He downed his drink this time, and stared intently at his empty glass as he held it up to the light.

It was as he was raising his hand to ask for a second drink that he heard a series of loud giggles outside the bar. Suspiciously familiar giggles.

Teddy whipped his head around just in time to catch Victorie stumble and hit her head on a nearby lamppost. Gazing through the front window of the bar, he saw her get shakily back to her feet, mutter something, and then throw her head back in outrageous laughter. Her friend Grace, who was tripping along right next to her, was doubled over in hysterics and pointing at Victoire's forehead.

"Shit," Teddy murmured to himself. Quickly he pulled out a few sickles and left them on the counter for his drink. He rapidly exited the bar and beheld one of the weirdest sights in his life – including the time James had somehow gotten a hold of his father's wand and transfigured Al's teddy bear into some kind of chicken-shrimp monstrosity with a magnificent set of antlers.

Victoire, his level headed bookish Vic, was completely three sheets to the wind, giggling, staggering, drunk in the middle of the sidewalk clutching a mostly full bottle of firewhisky.

"Teddy!" she yelled once she caught sight of him. "What're _you_ doin' here?" she nudged Grace, ignoring her loud protests and hissed in a loud, perfectly audible whisper, "Look it, it's Teddy, Teddy Lupin!" She looked absurdly happy.

"I can see him you git!" Grace said, hitting Victoire on the top of her head for her stupidity.

"Ow!" she said loudly, "Teddy, look, she attacked me!" she ran up to Teddy and clutched his arm, "Go take points from Ravenclaw, g'on!" she encouraged.

Shaking his head slightly, he tenderly removed her fingers where they were gripping his arm. "I can't Vic," he started, chuckling slightly.

"Why the bloody hell not?" Victorie asked in an outraged voice.

"I'm not in Hogwarts anymore," Teddy explained slowly, staring into her glassy blue eyes.

"Oh," she said quietly, "_Oh,"_ she repeated a second later and bit her lip, looking very put out.

"Look Vic, why are you drinking in the first place?" Teddy asked her sternly.

Victoire turned away from him and forcefully linked Grace's arm in hers. "It's Gracie's birthday today. Seventeen!" She held up her bottle in toast and took a large swig.

"And so the best way you could think of celebrating it would to get totally drunk at," Teddy checked his watch that Harry had given him on his seventeenth birthday, "one in the morning?" he finished dubiously.

"Well _no,_" Victoire said, shaking her head so her blond hair flew everywhere, "there was a party, and then we snuck out of the house!" she started giggling madly. "Gracie then showed me this pub down the street."

"It was fabulous." Grace, at least seemed slightly better than Victoire. "And we got a souvenir! Show him, Vicky!"

Still giggling, she triumphantly held the nearly full bottle once again. "We had a couple, and then got some t'go!" She took another sip, laughing as a few drops spilled down her front.

Teddy looked on disapprovingly. True, Victoire was awfully funny when totally plastered, but he felt it was his duty to watch over her. He was older after all, and the only relatively sober one in present company. "Look Victoire, I'm all for you having fun and all, but I think you've had enough," he slowly approached her and attempted to prise her fingers off the bottle.

"Let it go Teddy," she protested loudly. "Ugh, I, ugh!" She stormed away from him down the street.

"What's wrong Victoire?" asked Teddy gently as he walked back to stand right in front of her again.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Grace duck into the bar he had just exited. Well, Teddy thought, I'll deal with Vic and then get her friend.

Sighing, he looked back to Victoire who was looking at him with a murderous glint in her blue eyes. "I'm just having _fun,_" she whined.

"I know," Teddy told her, putting a hand on her shoulder, "But Vic, I think you don't need any more alcohol."

"How can you stand me?" Victoire asked him plaintively.

"What?" Teddy asked. When it was clear that Victoire wouldn't elaborate, he said, "What kind of foolish question is that?"

"I'm boring!" she said, scrunching up her face.

Teddy tried really hard to not think about how cute she looked when she did that.

"I'm no fun, and I just stay inside and read all the time!" she insisted.

"I don't think you're boring," Teddy said, surprised. "Vic, you think you're boring?" he asked her softly.

"Well, yeah." She shifted from foot to foot, suddenly very shy. Ducking her head down and staring at the floor, she muttered, "even with Ethan..."

"What?" Teddy asked sharply. "Has he done anything to you?" he demanded.

"Wha'? No!" Victoire denied. "Sometimes I think that he thinks that I am only pretty."

"You're not pretty."

Victoire looked highly offended.

Staring into her eyes, Teddy could make out tears building and he continued on hurriedly, "You're beautiful, Vic."

Damn drunk Victoire. Brought out the girly side of him. Bugger. He instantly regretted saying anything. Still, he reassured himself, she'd probably wake up with a wicked hangover the next morning and hopefully not remember anything that happened tonight.

"Really Teddy?" Victoire searched his face with shining eyes. "You mean it?"

"Of course I do Vic," Teddy said as she threw herself at him in an enormous hug. "Still Vic, you've drank enough for tonight."

"Uh uh," Victoire shook her head furiously as she stepped away from him.

"Oh yes," Teddy insisted. "You're drunk," he told her flatly.

"I know that," Victoire said, and started giggling again.

He reached for the bottle again, but she danced away from him claiming in a sing-song voice, "You've got no right Teddy Lupin!"

After a few more unsuccessful tries to wrest the firewhiskey from her, an idea occurred to him. He had to keep Victoire in his sight at all times; there was no way he would ever let her leave him in this state. That meant he would have to persuade her to stay at his flat for the rest of the night. He couldn't return her home after all, he reasoned with himself. Bill would kill his underage daughter for going out and getting pissed at one o'clock in the morning. Teddy certainly didn't want Victoire dead.

That's all it is, Teddy insisted mentally, a choice between his flat and death. Of course he would choose housing Vic for the night; he didn't want Bill to be sent for Azkaban for murdering his eldest. But there was no arguing with her in this state, she proved remarkably stubborn even when totally wasted.

At least, to Teddy.

"Fine," Teddy said shortly. "I'll go get someone who can boss you around!" he huffed before Disapparating.

"No-" Victoire started as he disappeared. "Teddy, wait! Fuck! fucking shit!"

Grinning, Teddy could still hear her curses from where he had reappeared around the corner, just out of her eyesight. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on becoming the man he had pictured in his mind's eye. Once done he quickly conjured a mirror to inspect his reflection. Relatively satisfied, Teddy walked out to intercept Victoire before she could run away or follow her friend into the bar.

Victoire's slightly flushed face instantly blanched as she saw the man who walked into the light from the dim streetlamp. "Bloody hell!" she yelled, nearly jumping in fright. "Er-" she paused, clearly unsure of what do to or how to explain herself. "Hi, Uncle Harry," she said brightly. "Fancy seeing you here!"

Peering through his newly transfigured glasses, Teddy could see that Victoire was busily hiding the bottle behind her back with one hand and attempting to smooth down her wrinkled skirt with another.

"Hello, Teddy came to see me and told me you were here," he said, feeling very odd in referring to himself in the third person. "Come on Victoire, you need to get home."

"No!" Victoire disputed vociferously. "I can't go home, not yet!"

"It's one thirty in the morning," Teddy pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Come on, Uncle Harry," Victoire pleaded.

"No excuses," Teddy said, feeling horrible as he stared into her big blue eyes. Damn, he really had absolutely no willpower when it came to Victoire. He sighed, and adjusted the glasses on his nose. "Well-" he started.

Victoire, for all her drunkenness, could see that she was getting somewhere in her argument. "Thank you! Thank you!" she said, and launched to hug him.

Very gingerly Teddy pulled the blonde off him and kept his hands on her shoulders as he continued, "I'm not finished."

"Kay." She smiled docilely up at him.

Teddy pondered for a moment, considering how Harry would actually phrase his proposition. "If you're so opposed to going to Bill's, I suppose I could take you to Teddy's," he said slowly. "It's nearby."

"Do I have to?" Victoire asked, stepping away from him. She stumbled but a moment later regained her balance.

"What are you hiding behind your back Victoire?" Teddy asked pointedly, staring at where the firewhiskey bottle had been a second ago.

"Nothing?" she said, her voice lilting the word into a question.

"Let me see it," Teddy demanded, holding a hand out.

Grudgingly Victoire handed over the bottle of firewhiskey she had been saving. Quickly Teddy vanished it with a wave of his wand, completely ignoring Victoire's protests. "Come on," he said, taking her by the shoulder, "we should get going."

"Where's Teddy?"

"Out," he said vaguely.

"Out where?"

"Just out," Teddy said, looking curiously down at Victoire, who was frowning.

"Out with some bird?"

"No."

"He really isn't out with some bird?" Victoire pressed.

Teddy sighed. "Nope."

"You sure?"

"Yes!" Teddy said forcefully.

Victoire looked visibly relieved and thankfully stopped her endless questions.

"Why are you so interested Vic?" Teddy couldn't help himself from asking.

"I'm not!" she denied loudly before muttering, "I, no... I have a boyfriend... Teddy better not be... ugh," she sighed noisily.

Teddy stared at her, completely baffled as to what she meant.

She tried again, "Je sais que j'ai un petit ami et ce n'est pas mes affaires, mais est-ce que tu sais que Teddy m'aime ? Parce-que tu es le même de son parent et il te parlerait, ouais ?"

Teddy was even more confused, considering that his French vocabulary consisted of only "arrête!" and "bonjour."

Victoire looked at him expectantly. Teddy guessed she must have just asked him a question.

"Er, yes?" he ventured.

Her face fell.

"Um, no," Teddy amended. He smiled at her apologetically, "Merlin, I don't know Vic."

Shaking his head in confusion, he entered the bar and convinced Victoire's friend Grace to accompany him to his flat. It was only a short distance away, and his charges spent most of it giggling.

"He fancies you!" Grace sang as Victoire scowled. "I saw him at Christmas, he fancies your for sure!"

"He does not!" she mumbled, "and shut up!"

"Uh uh."

Victoire gave a "humph!" of exasperation.

"He's better than the other one."

"No, he's not."

"He's more unique."

Victoire wrinkled her nose in distaste. "You can't be 'more unique,' just 'unique'."

Teddy chuckled quietly to himself. It was so like Victoire to be giving a grammar lesson even while totally smashed.

"Admit you fancy him!" Grace seized Victoire by the arm.

She shook her head violently. "I won't, 'cause I don't!"

That set Grace off in a long round of giggles. "That rhymes!" she said, gasping for breath.

A block more of inane conversation and they were at Teddy's flat. "Come on." He opened the doors for the two very tipsy girls and led them upstairs.

"Uncle Harry?" Victoire asked as she entered the living room. "Teddy won't mind us being here, right?"

"No. He won't mind. Why don't you get some sleep? It's getting late."

"Good because I wouldn't want to trouble him. I like him you know," she whispered rather loudly behind her hand. "He's a good friend," she added in her normal voice.

"You're no trouble," Teddy said before he could stop himself.

"You're so sweet Uncle Harry!" Victoire flung her arms around him.

He looked around; Grace had already passed out and was snoring on his couch. Damn. Only the one bed left.

Normally Teddy wouldn't object to sharing a bed with Victoire, and even more recently he had become even less resistant to the idea of sleeping with her. However, being in the same bed with her while she was intoxicated and under the impression that he was _her uncle_, just felt too wrong.

He prised her arms off him. "Here's the bed Victoire," Teddy said, leading her by the hand into his bedroom. "Get in," he said, throwing back the covers so that she could slide in between the sheets.

"You're so good to me, Uncle Harry," she sighed contentedly once she was tucked in. "I love you so much." She squeezed her eyes shut, not noticing the pained expression on his face.

"I love you too Vic," he said quietly, and gently kissed the top of her forehead before leaving the room and closing the door quietly.

Teddy spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, thinking of Victoire, pondering the value of his friendly relationship with Ethan and wondering why he ever bought such a bloody uncomfortable armchair.

Teddy awoke the next morning to a loud shriek and then a low moan. Getting up from the blasted seat, he made his way over to the kitchen to get a spare bit of potion to help Victoire with her hangover. At least it was Sunday, Teddy thought tiredly to himself as he walked to his bedroom, no work and no Bill to face.

"Uncle Harry?" Victoire looked like she had been hit over the head with a frying pan as she stared at her the black haired and green eyed uncle, sans the usual glasses though.

"What? No," Teddy laughed softly to himself as he changed back to himself.

"Oh Merlin, that was you?" Victoire said softly as she flopped back onto the bed.

"Yeah," Teddy said, still chuckling. "At least it wasn't really Harry."

"True," Victoire relented.

"Looks like I finally fooled you." Teddy grinned as he carefully sat down on the bed next to her.

"I was _drunk,_" Victoire told the ceiling. "Legitimate reason."

"Excuses, excuses," Teddy said, waving her comments away. "Here, you should drink this soon." He handed her the glass with a clear liquid inside.

"Is it more vodka?" Victoire said, sniffing the glass experimentally. "I heard that more alcohol makes a hangover better."

"No," Teddy snorted. "Hangover cure."

"Brilliant." Without further ado Victoire downed the glass, shuddering after she was done. "That's gross."

"Yeah."

"Like, tastes like the-feet-sweat-of-grandma's-ghoul-from-the-attic gross."

"How could you possibly know that?" He looked her over with an appraising eye.

Victoire laughed, and then dizzily put a hand to her forehead. "When does it kick in?"

"In about a minute."

"Ugh," Victoire moaned. "I feel horrible."

"Based on the amount of firewhiskey you drank, I'm not surprised. What do you remember from last night?"

Victoire flushed slightly and muttered, "Not much."

Suddenly sounds could be heard from Teddy's living room. He got up, saying, "That must be Grace. I'll be right back, have to get her some of that same potion."

"Potion my arse. That's a torture device to be used with extreme caution!" she called as he left the room laughing.

**

* * *

**

A/N: for those of you who don't speak French (or can't understand my garbled version of French grammar -

_**hey she is drunk after all!**_**), Victoire says to Teddy, "I know it's not my business and I have a boyfriend, but do you know if he loves me? Because you're practically his parent, and he talks to you, yes?" - I assume you guys know which 'he' Vic is talking about :)**

**the words that Teddy knows in French are "stop!" and "hello," respectively.**


	4. Ethan Wilson

**A/N: Another chapter, yay! This is also second to last, in case any of you were wondering**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

* * *

Teddy sighed, running his hands through his now much longer hair. How did he get himself into these kinds of situations? Merlin, this will never work. The only time he managed to fool Victoire before was when she was right pissed and couldn't even see straight, let alone recognize Teddy-as-Harry.

Still, he found himself outside the Three Broomsticks wearing a face that was not his own and waiting for Victoire to show up to her date with a man who she presumed was her boyfriend.

"Ted, I have a favour to ask you," Ethan had said, biting his lip as he approached Teddy the previous week at the office.

Teddy looked up from the large ledger he was poring over to catch sight of Ethan's worried face. "What do you need?" he asked, giving Ethan his full attention.

"I'm supposed to meet Vicky this weekend; it's one of her Hogsmeade visits," he said, looking down at the floor.

"So?" Teddy went back to tracing numbers with his forefinger, mumbling to himself.

"I just got an owl from my sister, apparently my brother-in-law got into some accident. She wants me go see him and be with her," Ethan looked up at Teddy.

"Oh," Teddy said flatly. "And what do you want me to do about it?"

Ethan sighed. "Can you pretend to be me for the day?"

"And why can't you just tell Vic that you'll have to reschedule?"

Ethan nervously ran his hands through his hair "Er, because I blew her off last time and she'll kill me if I miss this date."

"I don't want to fool Vic."

"She won't know."

"She _always _knows," Teddy muttered to himself.

"Well, didn't you tell me that you'd beat me up if I ever hurt her?"

"Yeah," Teddy said, half regretting that he couldn't just kick his arse anyway.

"So, help me! Then she won't get hurt, and you won't have to hurt me! It's a win-win situation, Teddy!"

"Sure it is," Teddy scoffed. "If she finds out it's me, then she'll be devastated."

"Then don't let her find out."

Teddy didn't respond.

"Please, Teddy?" Ethan begged. "You're her friend; don't you want to see her?"

"Sure, but not as you," Teddy said curtly.

"Fine." Ethan said, stacking a couple of books to move to his desk. "I hope your conscience sleeps well at night knowing it ruined my relationship with Vicky."

Teddy sighed. Of course he would load on the guilt trip. "What time am I to meet her?" he asked resignedly.

"Fantastic," Ethan said happily, "Be there, noon outside the Three Broomsticks." He finished gathering his books and turned to go, calling over his shoulder, "Don't be late!"

Teddy sighed and closed his eyes, wishing that he could get this damn date over with and he could go back to his apartment and mope in peace.

"Ethan!"

Teddy opened his eyes at the sound of his assumed name. "Hey, Vic."

She smiled. "Glad you could make it," she said as she linked her arm in his. "I was worried you'd bail on me again." Teddy could detect a hint of irritation behind her genial tone.

"Sorry about that," Teddy said casually. "Something came up, you know."

Victoire glanced up at him. "So I heard."

"Where do you want to go?" Teddy asked quickly, eager to change the subject. After all, Ethan had neglected to mention what exactly he had been doing the day he was supposed to be with Victoire.

"How about the Three Broomsticks?" Victoire suggested, indicating the building right in front of them.

Teddy smiled at her. She was stunning today. Since the weather was nice, she was wearing a pair of shorts long enough to be considered decent, but short enough to showcase her long legs and a white tank top that revealed her delicate shoulders. Victoire, Teddy decided, was just being plain cruel in showing things he couldn't ever have.

"Sure," Teddy replied, showing her inside.

They entered the bustling establishment and Victoire led them through the multitude of students to a small table for two near the back.

Before Victoire could sit down, Teddy jumped to her side and pulled out her chair. Victoire spun around, a bemused expression on her face.

Immediately Teddy realised his mistake. He had been raised by Gran after all, who had grown up in the conservative Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, a whole bunch of pureblood nutters who valued each and every polite mannerism that they could force into their children. Naturally living with Ted Tonks for upwards of twenty years had cured Andromeda of most of these ridiculous notions, but she nonetheless instilled the most basic ones into her grandson. Therefore Teddy had learned to not talk with his mouth full, hold the door open for a lady and, most unfortunately, pull out a lady's chair before she sat down.

"What?" he asked her.

"Are you Teddy?" she demanded suddenly, still standing.

"No." It was amazing how she could pick up on things so quickly.

"Oh," Victoire had the grace to look a little embarrassed.

"Why would you think that?" Teddy asked smoothly while his insides were squirming uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry," Victoire apologized, sitting down. "It's just that-" she broke off. "...Never mind."

Although Teddy would have liked to question Victoire further, he knew it would probably get her all defensive and that would get him nowhere.

So, he changed the subject. "How's school?"

She looked a little surprised. "Er, good, I guess."

"Slughorn's not giving you too much trouble, I take it?"

Victoire grimaced. "Sure he is, but I think I can manage it. Study hard, take good notes and all that stuff." She grinned. "And I can't go wrong with a bit of crystallized pineapple either."

Teddy laughed. "And here I thought you were above bribery."

"Then you don't know me that well, Ethan," she said, wagging her finger at him, "we Ravenclaws will do anything to keep our high marks."

Teddy leaned back in his chair. "Oh I know that. I've met some devious Ravenclaws in my day. Should've been sorted into Slytherin in my opinion, but that's beside the point."

Victoire looked highly affronted. "Are you saying I should be in Slytherin?"

"Well..." Teddy drifted off jokingly.

Victoire reached over and hit him.

"Ow!"

"Serves you right!" Victoire huffed. "Me in Slytherin, ha!" she muttered.

Teddy stared at her intently. "Where do you think you'd be if not for Ravenclaw?" he asked her seriously.

She paused, evidently thinking hard. "I don't know. My whole family's been in Gryffindor, as you know. Privately," Victoire leaned in conspiratorially, "I think it's the only house we've been put in, obviously not including me, because it doesn't clash magnificently with the Weasley red hair. I mean, red and blue are too primary and any Weasley in Slytherin would go around looking like a Christmas ornament in a Hogwarts uniform."

Teddy laughed. "So, if the Sorting Hat had placed you in Gryffindor, you wouldn't have been too disappointed?"

"Not at all. Truthfully I think my dad was a little put out that I didn't follow all my predecessors, but I guess I took after my mum. You met her, she was a Triwizard Champion, did you know? So I suppose I get my aptitude for schoolwork from her. Still, Gryffindor doesn't seem too bad."

"So, Gryffindor would be your second choice?"

"I didn't say that," Victoire said quickly.

"No?"

To his great astonishment, Victoire began to blush slightly. "When analyzing my personality and all my other traits, I mean, I work hard and I even enjoy it sometimes, I don't think I would have been too misplaced if the Hat put me in Hufflepuff," she said, finishing off in a very quiet voice.

"Really?" Teddy said, leaning in to hear her better and get a good look at her face.

"Yeah. I mean my Uncle Ron certainly would have denied any relation to me, but who needs him?" She gave a forced laugh.

Teddy could sense that something was amiss. "Hey, I'll go get us drinks, yeah?" he said, getting up. He needed some time to think, time away from Victoire's distracting presence.

"Sure," Victoire said, now staring down at the table.

Teddy walked over to the bar and ordered two butterbeers and a strawberry liquorice wand for Victoire.

As he was waiting for his orders to come back to him, Teddy pondered his most recent conversation with Victoire. So, she thought she would have been suited for his old house? He was surprised, to put it lightly. Victoire had never been too taken with his house; whenever he had teased her about studying too much she would respond with some quip along the lines of, 'And this is coming from the boy who claims boast that he is the epitome of "hardworking"?'

Teddy was sure that Victoire wasn't friends with any other Hufflepuffs other than him. The rest of her family had been in Gryffindor; so far it was only Teddy and Victoire who had branched away from the traditional scarlet and gold colours. True, her points made sense of why she would be suited for Hufflepuff, but Teddy got the sense that Victoire was hiding something from him, though for the life of him he couldn't figure out what.

Too soon Teddy's drinks came and he slowly made his way back to Victoire.

She was staring off into space as he approached, and it was only as he playfully stuck the liquorice wand in her mouth that she noticed he was sitting across from her.

"Mphh-ey!" Victoire said, pulling the piece of candy out of her mouth.

"Where were you? You had no idea I was even here, did you?" Teddy asked seriously.

"Er, I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing," Victoire said quickly. She stared down in surprise at the pink candy she had twisted around her fingers. "Thanks for the liquorice wand, by the way."

"No problem."

"How'd you know it was my favourite?" Victoire said, looking at him with a puzzled expression on her face.

"I didn't," Teddy lied, trying to keep his voice casual.

"Awfully lucky guess," Victoire said shrewdly.

"Naw." Teddy bided his time by taking a long sip of his butterbeer as he thought of an excuse. "I told Ted of our date, and he said to get you one."

"Oh," Victoire said quietly. She looked a bit touched; a small smile played on her lips as she fiddled with her straw. "How is Teddy, by the way?"

"He's good," he said slowly, looking strangely at Victoire. He had just written to her four days ago, surely she knew how he was.

"Oh...good, then," she said, and then took a large gulp of her drink. Clearly she had something on her mind, as conversation slowed after that.

Teddy tried for about ten minutes to get her talking again, but she seemed totally oblivious to his attempts. Although it never got as bad as monosyllabic replies; it was pretty damn close. Although she was looking at his face, Teddy got the distinct impression that she wasn't really seeing him.

"Come on, let's go," he said once he saw that she had finished her butterbeer. "Why don't we sit somewhere else?"

Victoire simply nodded and got up, twisting her liquorice wand around her fingers again. Teddy led her out of the Three Broomsticks into the wonderful weather waiting for them outside. "Where do you want to go?"

Victoire shrugged.

"Well, how about somewhere quiet? The Three Broomsticks was pretty crowded."

Once it was clear that Victoire wouldn't respond any time soon, Teddy led her through one of the narrow alleyways behind the shops. Soon they emerged a little ways off from the main street, and just outside the borders of Hogsmeade. A large hill stood before them, and before Victoire could object, Teddy gently took her hand and started to climb. She followed of course, and after a few moments they reached the top.

"Great sight, isn't it, Vic?" Teddy said looking at Victoire.

She was standing next to him, taking in the beauty of the scene before her. A little ways off was the Shrieking Shack, behind them was Hogsmeade and about a kilometre before them lay the great Hogwarts castle and the magnificent lake.

"Yeah," Victoire breathed in awe as she circled on the spot. "Sure is."

"I came here a few times while I was a student, whenever I was bored with the usual places. Come on, here's some shade," Teddy said, indicating a tree off to their right.

Taking her hand once again, Teddy and Victoire made their way over and sat on one of the larger roots jutting out from the ground.

Ankles crossed before her, Victoire continued to remain silent, obviously enjoying the atmosphere around her. She seemed more relaxed than she had been in the Three Broomsticks, and Teddy did not feel it necessary to interrupt her comfortable silence with idle chatter.

However, the silence had a completely different effect on Teddy. After a moment of unbearable tension on his part, he decided to put his arm around Victoire. After all, he was masquerading as her boyfriend, and that's what normal boyfriends do, right? Ethan couldn't be mad at him for touching Victoire; Teddy could wholly justify his actions... Now, his thoughts were another matter entirely, one that Ethan did not have to know anything about. At all.

Ever.

Soon Victoire relaxed into the curve of his arm, and even leaned back so they were contentedly leaning against the tree.

Teddy desperately wanted to lean over and snog her senseless, but he somehow refrained. Although slightly compromised, his morals still remained; mates before dates and all that. Damn sense of fair play, Teddy thought to himself. There was no way that he would ever take advantage of Victoire like that.

Growing slightly bolder, Teddy started tracing circles with his finger on Victoire's shoulder. To his great surprise, gooseflesh started to appear on her arm where he was drawing his pattern. Victoire licked her lips, and rested her head on his shoulder while searching for his hand with her own.

Well. It's not like I could avoid holding hands without totally blowing my cover or hurting Victoire, Teddy thought as his searching fingers met hers halfway. They twined together instantly, and she let out another sigh.

"I've been here before," Victoire said suddenly, as her eyes roved their surroundings much faster than before.

Teddy turned his head to look at hers.

"Um, Teddy took me here."

Damn.

"When?" he asked, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

"I dunno," Victoire said languidly, twisting her fingers out of his grip and brushing the few strands of hair that had escaped her ponytail out of her face. "I think I was a first year."

"Oh?" Teddy said, inwardly his stomach filled with dread.

"Yeah, he took his father's map of Hogwarts with all the secret passages, nicked it from his godfather actually, and smuggled me out here because I was feeling homesick."

Now he remembered.

One morning he had noticed little eleven-year-old Victoire come down to breakfast late, eyes red and puffy. Her friends were crowded around her, whispering. Teddy paid them no mind as he decided what he was going to do to make his young friend feel better. He had cornered her during lunch and asked her what was wrong and then told her to meet him in the entrance hall right after dinner. Later he had used the Marauder's map to keep them from getting caught and used one of the secret passageways to walk through the tunnel underneath the Whomping Willow. They walked straight from the Shrieking Shack to where they were seated now, a little more than five years later.

"That was nice of Ted," he said, for lack of anything else to say.

Victoire paused. "Yeah, I suppose. I still don't know why he did it."

"Isn't it obvious?"

Victoire raised her head to look at him curiously. "Not to me. I was a measly first year, his little _cousin,_" she said in a hard voice, "and he was a much older third year. Why would he help me?"

Teddy removed his arm and turned his torso so that she could see his face clearly. Even if it was not his own, he hoped he could covey at least some of the absolute sincerity behind his words. "You were more than a little girl," Teddy explained, deliberately not using a term that indicated any blood relation between the two of them. He paused, trying to get himself into a third person mindset. "You were his friend, and of course he didn't want to see you upset. You're so special Vic, and even at thirteen Teddy could see it."

Victoire rolled her eyes, obviously not believing a word he had uttered.

"No really," Teddy said earnestly, "and the great part is how you don't know how great you are. You're smart, but you don't rub it in like some of the other Ravenclaws. You're extraordinarily gorgeous, but you act like you don't even know it. Hell, you proved yourself exceptional when you got yourself sorted into Ravenclaw, not Gryffindor like what was expected of you and not even Hufflepuff like Ted. No, Victoire, you're-" Teddy broke off, unsure of how to continue. "Merlin, I can't think of an adjective worthy enough to describe you."

Victoire was open mouthed in surprise. Eyes wide, she was staring at Teddy as if she had never seen him before now.

"I think," she licked her lips and faintly breathed out, "I think I love you."

Teddy closed his eyes, trying to gain control of his feelings of both horror and elation before they showed on his face. "Well," he said in a hard voice after he had taken some deep calming breaths, "you know how I feel." He just couldn't bring himself to repeat Victoire's words back to her while masquerading as someone else.

He had expected Victoire to reach up and snog him after her revelation, but after a moment she adopted a very troubled expression instead. With a muttered, "Merlin!" she lightly laid her head back on his shoulder once again.

Teddy put his arm back around her. He could feel that she had become infinitely tenser than when his arm had rested there a few minutes previously. Curiously, Teddy bent his head down to try to see Victoire's face. Her eyes were closed, but he could see that she was biting her lip as though nervous.

Suddenly her eyes flew open and her head jerked up, narrowly missing his own. "Oh sorry!" she winced. "Didn't see you there. Anyway, it's getting late and I'd better head back to the castle."

"Uh sure," Teddy said, a little taken aback with her abrupt decision to leave. "Are you okay?" he asked, peering into her wide eyes.

"What? Of course I am!" Victoire responded, voice slightly higher than normal. "Why do you even ask?"

"You seem kind of stressed."

"Stressed? I'm not stressed! I mean, I have exams in a week, and I should have been studying, and teachers have been giving us work like the world's going to end tomorrow, and the library is never quiet enough, and... I'm not making any sense, am I?" Victoire looked pleadingly into his face.

He would have laughed if he wasn't so confused. "No not really," he said, giving her a small smile.

She turned away from him and began to descend down from the hill, stumbling every so often in her haste to get away. Teddy followed silently in her wake.

And so he found himself on the main street of Hogsmeade, without having said a word to Victoire since they were sitting together on top of that hill.

"So," he said slowly, as she turned to leave him.

"Yeah" she said, shifting from foot to foot, clearly very uncertain as to how to proceed.

"I'll be seeing you soon?"

"Er, of course," Victoire and, before he could stop her, leaned up to kiss him innocently on the cheek.

"Bye." She left.

Teddy was left, staring at her as she walked away from him. She turned when she was about ten metres away and waved. He waved back, a little half heartedly, and she turned away and hurried back to the castle.

Suddenly feeling a desperate need to never wear anyone else's face ever again, Teddy morphed back into himself. It was just as he was contemplating how to wear his hair for the rest of day that he heard a shout behind him.

"Hey, Ethan!"

Teddy turned to see Victoire's friend Grace rushing up to meet him.

She stopped dead. "Bloody hell," she swore as soon as she caught sight of his face. "_You're_ not Ethan," she said, raising her eyebrows.

"No," Teddy said shortly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get going."

He Disapparated.


	5. Louis Weasley

**A/N: Whoops, I miscalculated. Last chapter is the next one!**

**Disclaimer: uh uh, not mine**

* * *

Immediately after he ended his fake date with Victoire, Teddy began to feel the heavy weight of guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. He had agreed to Ethan's request because he had wanted to see what it would feel like to date Victoire. Reflecting back on it, he saw just how very wrong it had been. He was being selfish and cruel in what he did to her. In fact, if she ever found out it had been him, he would deserve each and every insult she threw his way.

Despite facing a ruined friendship, Teddy knew he couldn't ever face Victoire again if he kept his secret from her. Teddy resolved to get into the castle some way or another to explain everything to her.

He entered the library, bypassing Madam Pince who at this point was so old that she didn't recognize him as one of the graduating students last year. He made a beeline for Victoire's favourite table, the one she always sat at to study, at least, while he was at school. Sure enough, as he rounded the last bookshelf, there she was. Blonde head bent over a huge textbook and quill at the ready over a blank piece of parchment, Victoire was too absorbed to hear him approach.

"Vic?" he ventured quietly, sitting down next to her.

"Don't call me that," she said automatically, and then looked up. Her mouth formed a small "o" of surprise.

"Really?"

"Well, no, since it's you," she said curtly, and then went back to work.

"What's up Vic?" Teddy asked, bracing himself for her anger.

"Don't you play innocent with me Teddy Lupin!" hissed Victoire in a low voice. She gave a groan of frustration and put down her quill impatiently. "What the bloody hell are you doing here anyway? You graduated. You have no reason to come here ever again."

"Snuck in," explained Teddy, a bit too afraid of the dangerous glint in Victoire's eye to add, 'I came 'cause, you're here.'

"Look, you can't just barge into my life and expect me to be okay with it."

"But we're fr-"

"Don't you get it?" Victoire cut him off. "I'm bloody furious at you, Ted. And if you don't leave this instant, you will regret it," she threatened.

"You found out," Teddy said glumly, noting that she abandoned the "Teddy." Instead she had stuck him with the nickname he had demanded at the age of fourteen when he had decided that he was a _man_. Needless to say, when twelve-year-old Victoire heard his new chosen name, she had laughed in his face and said, "Never in a million years am I going to call you the disgustingly ordinary epithet of 'Ted,' Teddy. Deal with it."

"Of course I fucking found out!" Victoire spat. "Now I never want to see you again. Go away."

"Vic please, let me expl-"

"I do not want to hear any sorry excuse you had for fooling me!" She looked near hysterical by now. "I can't believe you did that to me. Do you really like making me feel like a bloody idiot? Do you know how much that _hurts_?"

"Please, Vic," Teddy said weakly, at a total loss as to what to say.

"No, Ted," Victoire closed her eyes and tried to get a hold of herself. "Just leave. You've done enough." She opened her eyes and glared at him. "There's nothing that you could say can to make me less inclined to curse you into a million worthless pieces."

Ouch. "Look Vic," Teddy said, speaking loudly so that she couldn't interrupt him again. "I came here to say I'm sorry." He ignored her renewed outbursts and continued, "Now I see that you don't want to hear it. Fine, I'll leave." Teddy got up from his seat as he spoke. "I don't care if you're angry; you have every right to be."

"Of course I have every bloody right to be ang-" Victoire started hotly.

"But," Teddy went on, completely bypassing Victoire's disruption, "Just know that even though I'm going, it does not mean that I take back my apology at all. I am sorry Victoire. You have no idea how much I regret my past decisions."

Quickly, while Victoire was thinking of a response and before he lost his nerve, Teddy bent down and kissed her lightly on the forehead. He then walked quickly out of the library; all the way half expecting to dodge some last minute curses that thankfully never came.

Teddy sighed and banged his head against the stone wall outside the library in frustration. Instead of letting out some of his anger or sparking some brilliant plan to get back into Victoire's good graces, it just left him with a smarting skull. Merlin, she was driving him slowly mad.

Five minutes later Teddy still found himself moping outside of the library he had promised not to renter after June of last year. He knew that if he left Victoire in such a state, that her anger would only stew and get worse over time. No, Teddy needed to stay at Hogwarts and try again. And again after that. And a third time never hurt anyone, right?

Er, hopefully Victoire never took up Ginny on her offers to teach her oldest niece her famous Bat-Bogey Hex. Teddy saw George after he had a run in with his godmother. It wasn't pretty, to put it lightly.

Merlin, it was just that Teddy couldn't think of a way to get Victoire to listen to him! Last time he couldn't get Victoire to do something he had become someone else, and thankfully pretending to be Harry hadn't turned into something as ugly as the incident last week. However he couldn't be sure what would happen if he tried again with the same tactic.

Still, fifteen minutes later, Teddy could see no other option other than using his metamorphmagus abilities again. Victoire would absolutely refuse to see him, but he needed to tell her how he felt. Then she would at least understand why he went on that damned date, and if she laughed at him, well then... that indicated some sort of forgiveness, right?

Argh, hell no, it didn't.

He was going mad. Positively mental.

Well, Teddy thought to himself sardonically, there's always a Gringotts branch in Australia. He heard it's nice there, sunny, warm, and, most importantly, Victoire free. Even if his Plan A sucked arse, Plan B was looking pretty bright.

Teddy closed his eyes and screwed his face up in concentration as he focused on changing his appearance. Taking out his wand, he transfigured a fake Gryffindor insignia on his old Hogwarts robes and conjured a mirror to inspect his new face. Quickly he walked confidently into the library once again, this time shorter and with red hair.

"Louis!" Victoire said in surprise when Teddy coughed to make his presence known.

"Hey Vic."

Victore's eyes narrowed infinitesimally. "What's brings you all the way to my corner of the library? Or the library in general? As I recall, you made it you're life's mission to never cross this threshold again."

Her eyes were a bit red, Teddy noticed in the minute or two that he had stood facing her before she noticed him, and she kept sniffling every few seconds. Teddy felt the guilt rise in his throat; her tears were entirely his fault.

Well, now it was up to him to make it right and repair his friendship.

"Are you okay?" Teddy asked, sitting down in same the chair he had left a quarter of an hour earlier.

"I've been better," Victoire said bitterly. "Still, never mind me, what's up little brother?"

Teddy resisted the urge to react to her 'little brother' comment. "I saw Ted outside."

Victoire didn't respond. Instead, she started poring over what looked like her Defence against the Dark Arts essay.

"He told me what happened."

"Oh?" Victoire told her paper, her voice hard.

"Yeah."

"And...?" Victoire drifted off.

"He told me to tell you a few things, since you wouldn't hear a word he said," Teddy spoke with a confidence he didn't really have.

"Do you know what that wanker did to me last week?" Victoire whispered as she looked up from her schoolwork.

Teddy inhaled sharply. "He mentioned a bit of it."

"Did he tell you that he fooled me into believing that he was my _boyfriend_ and then proceeded to get me to admit that _I loved him_? Did the bloody bastard tell you that he couldn't even manage to make me feel like even less of an idiot by telling me the same thing or, hell, even give me one _kiss_? No. Instead, I had to go around wondering what I _possibly_ could have done to warrant such a cold reception until Grace _put me out of my misery_ and explained what must've happened."

"Yes," Teddy said quietly, hating the raw ache in her voice. "He did say he did some unpardonable things to you."

"Got that right," said Victoire softly.

Teddy had witnessed enough. Victoire was so right, and he was so very, very wrong. This quiet, vulnerable looking Victoire was so much more telling than the irate Victoire he had found earlier. He was going to leave, and never speak to her again. He just had to get over his bit of Victoire-fancying and move to Australia. Then, when he could think back on this series of disastrous Victoire interactions without wanting to throw himself off the nearest building, he would consider moving back to England.

Yes. This revised Plan B boded very well indeed.

"Well then, I probably shouldn't deliver his message. He clearly doesn't deserve it," Teddy said and turned to leave.

Suddenly, Victoire reached out a hand to grasp his wrist. "Wait, Louis," she said, looking very conflicted. Her eyes searched his face hungrily, as if for answers. "I don't care if he doesn't deserve it," she swallowed nervously. "I want to hear it anyway."

Teddy was stunned. "Really?" he breathed.

"Yeah," Victoire gestured for him to sit down. "You tell me exactly what you-" she broke off and took a big breath. "What he wants you to convey."

"First off, he told me to tell you he's sorry."

"He already said that. What else?" she demanded.

"Um," Teddy halted, unsure of how to go on. He sighed. Better just let it out. So what if she figured out it was him? What else could she possibly do to make him feel worse?

"Look Vic," he started, "Teddy knows he screwed up royally with you, and he feels terribly about it."

"Why?" Suddenly Victoire snapped her mouth shut. She looked surprised that she had said anything at all. Clearing her throat and wiping her eyes hurriedly, she continued slowly, "Why did he do it?"

"Because-" Teddy broke off again, still wondering the best way to admit that he fancied her.

"Because _why?_" Victoire said, a ghost of a smile playing across her pale features.

Teddy sighed. "Because he wanted to go on a date with you so badly that he jumped at Ethan's offer to fill in for him without thinking of the consequences for you." There. It was out in the open. Free for her to judge.

It was the second time that Teddy had seen Victoire look like she had just been hit over the head with something heavy. "But why me?" she choked out, eyes wide and mouth open.

"You honestly don't remember what he told you under that tree?" Teddy looked away; his eyes skimmed the tomes around him. Truthfully he was just trying to hide his disappointment that Victoire couldn't recall what he had said. It was the only thing he could think of during that whole date that didn't make him cringe with guilt. Plus he really didn't want to repeat it and get laughed at or something.

"Every word," Victoire muttered.

Teddy's gaze immediately snapped back to Victoire's now tear stained face. "So?"

"So what?" Victoire looked like she was struggling to explain her thoughts. "What I mean to say is," she paused and rephrased, "why does that matter? He was pretending to be my boyfriend, of course he would say things like that." The tears were falling harder. "They meant nothing."

"For the first time in my memory, you're so wrong it's not even funny, Vic," Teddy said, staring at her in incredulity. "They meant everything," he said slowly, staring into her eyes.

"I don't," she inhaled slowly, "Understand."

"He fancies you!" Teddy said loudly, throwing caution to the wind, "and he wanted to see you so desperately, that he let it cloud his judgement."

Suddenly he couldn't be here anymore. Victoire could laugh or curse at him all she wanted, he just didn't want to be there when it happened.

"Look, I've got to get to class. I've said what I needed to say. Be seeing you, Vic." He got up to go.

Unexpectedly one of Victoire's slender hands reached out to tighten around his wrist. "Don't leave," she said, pulling out her wand with her other hand to conjure a few tissues.

"I need to, I'll be late," Teddy lied, inching away slowly.

But Victoire clung on with her one hand while the other busied itself erasing the tear tracks down her face. "Wait, Louis," she commanded, as she got up to face him.

"Please Vic," Teddy pleaded, looking hopefully at the library exit. "I'll be late," he repeated.

"No you won't," Victoire contradicted. "It's still lunch. You don't have class for another half hour."

Bugger.

"Change back."

The demand came suddenly, and took Teddy completely by surprise. He whipped his head around to stare at her in shock. "Excuse me?"

To his great bewilderment, she was smiling, albeit reluctantly. "I can't believe you tried to fool me again, Teddy Lupin. Be yourself, for once."

Teddy blanched, but did as he was told. "Will you let me go now?" he asked quietly. "I really should go. I've put you through enough as it is."

"Do you know why I wanted you to wear your own face?" Victoire asked without warning, totally ignoring his excuses to leave.

"Because you want to curse me, and not your brother, into a million tiny worthless pieces?" Teddy guessed crossly, staring longingly at the door.

"No," Victoire said, walking closer to him but still keeping a firm hold upon his wrist.

He turned to look at her again.

Merlin, she was too close.

He couldn't think. She raised her head to look at him better. Her lips were right there, so close to his.

She took another step. Now her torso just brushed against his, and Teddy lost any will whatsoever to move his feet from his current position.

"Because," Victoire continued, smiling more widely now, "Snogging my own brother is frowned upon by most societies and may result in painful emotional problems that would only manifest themselves later in life." And with that, Victoire completely closed the space between them and raised her face so that her lips could meet his.

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**A/N: Reviews are always welcome and appreciated!**


	6. Teddy Lupin

**A/N: Okay, so this is an epilogue of sorts... I guess.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teddy, Vic or James**

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Teddy tapped his foot impatiently and glanced at his watch for the seventh time in two minutes. Looking around, he once again scanned Platform 9 ¾ for her telltale blond hair; he had no such luck.

True, he had seen Victoire just barely two days ago, but she had spent practically the whole summer in France! He had had one week with her in the beginning of her vacation, and then she left the bloody continent. She got back a few days ago but was so busy in catching up on all her homework that he only got to spend the barest of time with her.

"Vic where are you?" muttered Teddy, making himself a few inches taller to peer over some of the larger wizards.

"No need to inspect the entire magical community looking for me," a female voice said from behind him.

Teddy whirled around. "Vic!" he said as he gave her a big hug and a swift kiss on the cheek. "You're here!"

"It appears so," she said, laughing a little. "Been waiting long?"

"Ages."

"Sorry."

"You should be. These past five minutes have been unbearable."

She smiled. "I'm sure. Help me with my trunk? Dad and Mum are helping Dom and Louis. They're over there," she gestured to a few metres down the platform from where they were standing.

"Oh. Yeah, I'll get it." Teddy reached for the trunk and tugged it over to the train. Deciding that he was going about it the wrong way, he pulled out his wand.

"What are you planning on doing with my stuff?" Victoire asked, looking suspicious.

"Charming it lighter."

"Smart."

"I know. Don't you just wish you had my intelligence?"

"Everyday," she drawled, hands on her hips.

"No need to be sarcastic, Vic. Just your jealously is enough," Teddy said with his back to her as he tucked her trunk safely away.

"Come on, you're train leaves in half an hour." He gestured her to one of the benches lining the walls a little ways off from the small gaggle of witches and wizards that had already gathered around the scarlet express. "We need to catch up."

"You saw me on Saturday!"

"So how was France?" Teddy asked, completely ignoring Victoire.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Alright. We stayed with Tante Gabrielle and even went into Paris for one weekend. Beyond that it was totally boring. I wrote all of this to you." She narrowed her eyes accusingly.

"Yeah, but it's better to hear about it in person."

"Nice hair," she said suddenly, reaching up to ruffle the new dark blue colour.

"Yeah," Teddy said, casually, "I figured since you were leaving today, I might as well send you off in style. Hurrah for Ravenclaw, and all that." He pulled down one of his navy hairs to inspect.

"That's too bad," Victoire said slowly.

"I thought you liked your house." Teddy couldn't see the problem. He looked at her curiously.

"Of course I do," she said defensively. "But I did my nails yesterday." She held up her right hand to show him.

"Oh."

"I'd thought we'd match," Victoire giggled. "Ah well."

"Well, I never felt comfortable wearing another house's colours anyway," Teddy said, changing his hair to its usual bright turquoise.

"Brilliant," Victoire said, spreading her fingers wide to compare. "Nice job."

He grabbed her raised hand in his and pulled her closer so that she was leaning against him. "You know, there's something that has been bugging me all summer."

"Hmm?" Victoire murmured against his chest.

"How did you always know it was me?" Teddy asked her seriously. "Whenever I was pretending to be someone else? Excepting when you were drunk, of course."

"Easy." Victoire paused, and shifted slightly so that she could see his face. "You're the only one who ever calls me 'Vic' mostly it's either 'Victoire' or 'Vicky.'"

Teddy nodded, but then realised something else. "Wait, but when we went on that date? I'm sure I said 'Vic' loads of times," he contradicted.

Victoire grimaced and started blushing. "Yeah you did," she agreed.

"So..." Teddy prodded.

She lowered her eyes to focus on a bit of floor as she muttered something indistinguishable.

"Didn't quite catch that, sorry," Teddy told her, placing his fingers under her chin and angling her face so that he could see it clearer.

Victoire looked mightily annoyed. "Fine," she huffed, "I said, I convinced myself it wasn't you because I couldn't fathom why you would say all those nice things to me."

"But I'm usually nice!" Teddy said instantly, giving her a disbelieving look.

"I know that," she said, patting him on the knee reassuringly. "But, I dunno, there was something else; it's hard to describe. It was the way you looked at me, like you really wanted to be there and like I was the only one in the whole world." She was as red as the train in front of them by the time she finished.

"That's..."

"Cheesy? Girly? A total cliché?"

"No," said Teddy slowly, "I was going to say that was _accurate_, but those work too." He nodded firmly. "All of the above, certainly."

Victoire laughed. "It didn't help that I fancied you so much that I started wondering if everyone around me was you masquerading as a student, or teacher or something. You weren't the only one who wanted to see someone really badly."

"That's... kind of creepy."

"Yeah? Coming from the bloke who deliberately misled me to _follow me around_ for hours? Was I really that far off, Teddy?"

He shrugged.

"Anyway, it's just that I was thinking about you so much beforehand that on that date I thought that I was just over analyzing the situation and blowing the little things out of proportion. Hence, I figured the whole 'Vic' thing was a misconception; Ethan worked with you, maybe he picked up your nickname for me. Clearly I was wrong, but, hey, that happens so rarely I couldn't recognize the signs."

"Take it from a master of being wrong all the time," Teddy said gravely, "you never see it coming."

"I sure hope you can see this coming," Victoire said mischievously, as she lifted her face up to his.

Teddy lowered his own accordingly, and they spent a few happy moments snogging.

After a few minutes Teddy felt Victoire freeze suddenly. He opened his eyes and saw that she was fixated on some object in the distance over his right shoulder.

"What is it?" he said softly into her ear as he started kissing her neck.

"Change!" Victoire hissed hurriedly.

Teddy was dumbfounded. "Excuse me?" he said slowly.

"Morph into someone else!" Victoire amended, biting her lip.

"Why?"

"Never mind why, do it now Teddy Lup-!"

"Galloping gargoyles!" a young voice said from right behind him.

Shit.

"Go away, James," Teddy said exasperatedly without turning around.

"What are you _doing_ Teddy?" James asked.

Teddy shifted so that he faced the small redheaded Potter. "I was just seeing her off," he explained.

"Were you _snogging_?" James asked, looking positively revolted.

Victoire rolled her eyes. "Go away, James," she echoed.

"Were you snogging Victoire?" he repeated, obviously concerned that Teddy had not caught on his original meaning.

"If I say yes, will you leave us?" Teddy asked calmly.

Victoire was significantly less calm. Just as James opened his mouth to respond she cut him off. "Beat it, coz. We're busy," she said, irritated. She leaned in and started snogging Teddy again to further emphasize her point.

James must've left, as there were no further interruptions.

A little while later when they both freed themselves, Teddy was the first to speak.

"He's probably told everyone, little bugger can never keep quiet."

"I know," Victoire sighed. "I just don't like to be gossiped about."

"You're mum's probably already planning the wedding."

"Merlin, you're right!"

"I'm going to miss you," Teddy said unexpectedly. "Will you owl me you're Hogsmeade weekends?"

Victoire smiled. "Of course."

Teddy checked his watch and started straightening his robes. "Come on, train's going to leave in ten minutes. You've got to say goodbye to your mum and dad."

"I'd rather say goodbye to you some more," Victoire said teasingly.

"Be that as it may," Teddy said slowly, "the Head Girl should not miss the first day of school. Speaking as a head boy who nearly missed his own, of course."

"Oh all right, help me up," she commanded, holding her hands out to him.

He obligingly took them and hauled her to her feet. Smiling, Victoire used her momentum to propel herself closer to him and gave him a leisurely kiss.

"I'll write, Teddy" she said as she pulled away.

"I'll maybe sneak into the school as a teacher, student or something," he joked.

She rolled her eyes. Smiling she called over her shoulder, "Please do!"

Teddy gaped. Had Victoire just _invited_ him to try and fool her?

Laughing, she jumped onto the train and waved out the window.

Teddy watched the train go with a smile on his face, already planning his next visit to Hogwarts... and to Victoire.

**

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A/N: So there it is, Fooling Victoire is over! Please review


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